Timed Writing Revisions

For the summer reading book, I read the book Deep, Dark And Dangerous by Mary Downing Hahn. The theme of the story is to always tell the truth about something sooner than later, so you're not admitting things in the end. The first detail that shows this theme is in the beginning of the story Alli, the thirteen year old girl found a picture of her mom and her aunt, but the third person was simply ripped out if the Picture. Ali and her mother have always had a strong, close bond, and when her mom acts suddenly suspicious about the ripped part of the photo, saying she can't remember that day or the picture, Ali knows something is up. This shows the theme because obviously Ali knows her mom is hiding something, so she mitt as well tell her now, rather than admitting she lied later. The second detail where this theme comes into play, is when Ali and her little cousin meet a girl named Tessa. As Emma and Ali describe this figure they met at the fair while at the old lake house, it's quit obvious Ali's aunt knows exactly who they are describing, but still is getting that look of suspiciousness, just like Ali's mom did when she confronted her about the picture Ali found in the attic. Still Emma and Ali are seeing Tessa every single day, but Emmas mom still claims she has no idea. This relates to the theme, always tell the truth instead of admitting later, because there most likely is not a reason to not tell Emma and Ali who this Tessa is, especially since the two girls know something fishy is going on. My last detail that can relate to the theme is is when Ali's mom comes to the lake house to pick her up, she spots Tessa out of the corner of her eye and screams. Then and there, Ali and Emma were for sure something was being hidden and had to be told. Ali and Emmas moms finally explained that Tessa was a ghost who had passed away right after that picture was taken. Not so much Emma, but Ali was disappointed with her mom for not ever telling her before she even found the picture . This relates to the theme because a mother/daughter relationship had just been ruined for not telling the truth for so long. In the beginning of the story Ali and her mother had a strong relationship where they could tell each other anything, but ever since Ali found her mom had kept that secret from Ali her whole life, their relationship would ever be the same. So always tell the truth soon an don't wait for things to get worse!

And Then There Were None

When I was fixing my final draft to fix all the mistakes I had made, one of the things I had to fix were my punctuational errors. Though those type of things were not going to be graded on this essay I still corrected them for my final draft. Another thing I did to my final, was fix the organization of my paragraphs and what went in which paragraph. I think that the best form of support for me when it came to writing this essay, was the peer review checklist because it's coming from another classmates point of view who has the same task as me, and knows exactly what needs to be done which leads right into why I don't think that an adult checking it could be as helpful. They don't exactly know everything we know and I feel like it coming from another student could be more helpful. Although, since my dad is a Language Arts teacher sometimes it is even more helpful having him check things too. I think if we keep continuing to to peer edits and adult edits it will help me improve my writing, especially getting feedback from different people.  I think I have room to become a better writer in the area of topic sentences, and coming up with a theme but being able to write it correctly. A goal I want to achieve is to be able to do that by the end of the year 100% correctly.